My life use to be so miserable when we first got together and especially once we lived together. You have caused so much headache in my life. We let ourselves get so attached to each other and we both knew in the back of our minds that that was completely the wrong thing to do. You have had a past of not taking relationships seriously and I was always careless or standoffish to your feelings. I can admit that you were my first love. As much as I can point out all the bad things between us, the good things are the reasons why I held on to you for so long. No one has ever made me smile so big, laugh so much, or feel so loved. I love that you hated going to bed and waking up in the middle of the night looking for me because you couldn’t sleep without me, even though I was just in the living room. Or when you moved back home for good after all the fights we’ve had and you came back to get a few things while I was at school and I came home to a note you wrote me saying “I’ll love you always and forever no matter what”. Little things like that really made me happy. When you asked me the last time we talked if I think we are meant to be together because you told me how it just doesn’t feel the same with anyone else, it honestly doesn’t. I always feel that you will always be a part of my life. Wether it’s on and off or not. Friends or lovers. But I realized that right now you’re at a point in your life where you just want to be a child and party all the time and just not give a fuck about anything. I don’t know of this is just a stage you always go through in the beginning of our break ups to grieve or if you’ve gotten more naive by the minute. You continuously make the same mistakes over and over again. This has made me look at you differently. When I think about all the things you’ve done it’s slowly but surely made me less attracted to you. I usually would be talking about you all the time. Now I barely care enough to anymore. I’ll always love you, but I’m just now seeing the bigger picture.
-always and forever.